Okay, I'm going to back up a little bit and tell the whole story (for more background, see my October 21 post "Sometimes, God's as subtle as a hand grenade"). I knew the deadline for Summer Projects was looming, and I hadn't applied anywhere. Well, technically I "started" an application for Chile earthquake relief... all I had done was click the "apply now" button. But I wasn't sure if I wanted to do that or if I wanted to spend two weeks in southern France with the Jesus film project. Something, perhaps my natural reluctance, kept me from applying (well, beyond simply clicking the "apply now" button).
Due to my "application" to the Chile earthquake relief project, I got an email telling me that it had been canceled. It just so happened that the person emailing me to tell me that it was canceled was in charge of the Santiago trip and he put in a personal plug for the trip. Honestly, at the time, I was too sad that earthquake relief was canceled to really consider Santiago. So the Jesus film project was my top choice, but I still didn't apply.
Do you ever have those moments where you sense God talking to you and you know exactly what you have to do, even though it's completely different than you had planned? That's what happened to me a couple weeks ago (and, ironically, looking back, it was Valentine's Day when this happened). For discipleship, we've been reading through Crazy Love by Francis Chan. Amazing book- I highly recommend it- it's literally life-changing. You see, in chapter four, he discusses the profile of the lukewarm. With some of these points, it was like he was talking about me. Three in particular stood out.
Lukewarm people are moved by stories about people who do radical things for Christ, yet they do not act...
Lukewarm people say they love Jesus and he is, indeed a part of their lives. But only a part... He isn't allowed to control their lives.
Lukewarm people will serve God and others, but there are limits to how far they will go or how much time, money, and energy they are willing to give. (pages 70-74).
I realized at that moment that I didn't want to have those lukewarm spots in my life anymore. So I decided, right then and there, that I would apply for the Santiago project. Honestly, I made an on-the-spot decision, and that's where I ended up. And I've felt so at peace with that decision. Before that morning, I had various objections to the trip: like the length (5 weeks overseas), the fact that I don't speak Spanish, etc. Things that now seem trivial. So I did it. I finished the application, got three references, and waited patiently for a little while. :)
Anyways, coming back to today, I got the call that I was accepted. I'm so excited, and I know now that I'm in the right place!